Community vs. Community

Players celebrating the Midsummer Festival and dancing around the Midsummer Festival tree

For many of you it's no secret that I'm no longer at peace with being a raider. Yet I am one. My motivation for it is clear: The people in this raid group are members of my guild and for some reason they want me to be part of it. They're good people (ah for God's sake, try not to hear that sentence in Trump's voice) and although the raid group is still one in the making, our evenings can be quite funny. The third source for my motivation is that I really like the raid instances Activision-Blizzard design.

But I don't buy into this concept of raiding anymore and never deliberately wanted to buy into this in the first place. This kind of raiding with all the fuzz about DPS, AP grind, and item level, with set expectations towards experience, preparation, addons, and movement feels like living the Truman Show for a while, like a reality TV show.

No matter how much I try to tell myself that maybe there was a slight chance to trigger change from within, that is not going to happen. The "within" is too much of an echo chamber in which this way of playing gets constant reinforcement. And it doesn't help that the echo chamber gets fueled by its real life surroundings. People think and tell each other that they had paid to see the raids as current content, that getting a mount at the end was worth having these stupid expectations and that those expectations were somehow reasonable. And no matter how much I try to convince myself that I could change things, this isn't part of my motivation to play along, but just justification (and this is why I don't like how people mix up cause, reason, and justification).

Me not being part of the raid group would split the guild (further). I don't want to dictate for other players, members of my guild, and friends how to play the game. Far too many people do that already. But if more people in the guild participate in a regular raid than they do in community events like the Call of the Scarab, or helping, and recruiting new players, then they don't really seem to be in the same guild as me. That would reduce my guild to one member again (which in itself I wouldn't have much of a problem with).

Such are my struggles and I don't have a fucking clue what to do.